By Brigette Flood and Sandy M. Tyler
This week, Kim returns to vocal coach Jan Smith’s studio at Kandi’s insistence to work on The Ring Didn’t Mean a Thing. Kim is incredibly nervous about having to face the one person we’ve ever seen speak the truth to her and even brings ex-love Tracy Young to town for moral support. (More on this later.)
As much as we relish any opportunity to laugh at Kim Zolciak behind the mic, we have to admit that Jan Smith made Kim better and more confident. Jan Smith, we are in awe. Sure you’ve worked with artists including Usher, Rob Thomas, India.Arie and Justin Bieber, but we thought Kim’s vocal “talents” would always be gong-worthy. You are an incredible professional. The audience thanks you for the bit of inspiration you bring and hopefully, so does Kim.
Later, Jan reappears at Kandi’s studio during a Ring Didn’t Mean a Thing recording session. It’s just in the nick time, as Jan needs to literally help Kim through her performance on the song line by line. As the camera cuts to a moon suitable for dogs to howl at, we have to wonder how this is all going to work when Kim goes on tour as Kandi’s opening act.
Shereé goes to see her acting coach and can’t seem to muster up much enthusiasm for some of the opportunities she’s being offered, including the chance to be in a play called Child Support Man. With a two-week commitment and no pay, Shereé doesn’t see what there is to be excited about. Shereé was probably figuring that if the other housewives could profit from their association with the show, she should too, and “paying dues” are for women who don’t have “grown-ass” bills.
Shereé later goes to The People Store, one of Atlanta’s most successful talent agencies, to audition for representation. She’s nervous, and it only gets worse when she has to read lines for a room full of agents. Even for a more experienced actor, the situation would be nerve-wracking, and no one seems impressed with an actress who is best known for her “reality show” work. However, People Store does confirm that they are now representing Shereé, and she even booked a part in a movie filmed in the area. Maybe there’s more to her performances than we realize.
This week, we see a softer side of Phaedra, and she seems genuinely grateful to have such a hands-on dad in Apollo who has accepted the role as the primary caretaker for their infant son. Since gifts are Phaedra’s “love language,” she presents her husband with a great photo of Apollo and Ayden sleeping together as well as a limited edition Rolex. Phaedra even seems to appreciate that Apollo’s love language is spending time caring for the people around him, which is her first genuine moment of the season. When Spark St. Jude, the legend behind Phaedra’s earlier pickle eating photo shoot, arrives to take a family photo, Ayden poops on his Mom’s hand, which is the closest she’s come to changing his diaper in the three weeks since he was born. Luckily, Apollo is all too happy to save the day as well as shed his shirt for a series of photos, and for that, we are all grateful.
NeNe is having a rough time of it since her big blow-up with Gregg after he spilled the details of their crumbling marriage on the radio, and she’s leaning on Cynthia for regular emotional support. This annoys fiancé Peter Thomas who could use some support of his own. We learn that his restaurant, now closed, is in trouble, and he’s stressed out. One strong personality coming up against another is always a bad situation with the Atlanta Housewives, and Peter’s developing conflict with NeNe does not bode well. As we all know, in a battle of the housewives, or househusbands, NeNe usually wins.
Later all of the ladies, sans Phaedra, meet up at the FastLife drag race event being presented by Kandi’s manager. Kandi and Shereé have agreed to race against each other in a 12-second, 1/8 of a mile race that winds up being just as anti-climatic as it sounds. What’s more interesting to all involved is when Kim rolls up in her Bentley with her children and lesbian lover Tracy Young in tow, and the other housewives waste no time quizzing Tracy on the current status of her relationship with Kim.
So now – in addition to channeling Britney on her worst day, Barbie in her worst outfit and the worst Cher impersonator in a wig from Claire’s – Kim seems to be channeling her best (worst?) Ann Heche. Tracy could not have seemed more uncomfortable talking to the other housewives, but we were most struck with Kim’s obvious embarrassment at any speculation about their physical relationship. Kim has done a lot of things over these last three seasons to be embarrassed about, and sleeping with a woman isn’t one of them.
The battle over Prop 8 heats up again in California today, and Kim posed for the NoH8 Campaign back in 2009, topless no less. We guess her support of the gay community in that instance was less about pride and more about being a media . . . uh . . . whore. Tracy was right to sell the pictures of Kim without her wig to Star Magazine. (You can “click them keys” and Google her for yourself.) It’s time to strip away all of the artifice and the auto-tune and see Kim for what she really is. Wonder if Kroy Biermann is taking notes?